Audience of Two -- 2log

Question of the Day

gerrit — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:08:26 CDT

Today's qotd is the final question at the junior high Mathcounts competition. Leave your answer in the form of points to me :)

A set of distinct positive integers has a total of 11 digits, and all the digits are ones. What is the smallest possible sum of the integers in the set?

via Michelle Malkin

photo courtesy Flickr user Mr. Mark

***If you're looking for a shortcut, think how you would convert 11 to binary. Instead of digits worth 1,2,4,8..., what if they were 1,2,3,4,5...?***

A Land of Codes

Sam — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:16:15 CDT

Nooze Roundup

Sam — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:13:05 CDT

2log Points Competition: Johnny Topside seeks the repeat!

Requiem for a dream?

Thought of the Day: Never be lonely. Reflections include...

Happiness is only a martini away.

Make a plan to escape.

It could be worse.

Still no peace in the Middle East.

SuperGravelegates

gerrit — Mon, 12 May 2008 10:38:08 CDT

Hillary Clinton has refused to drop out until Obama secures the nomination. She also defines "securing the nomination" as him defeating her. But, given the nature of the race, he won't definitively beat her until she concedes. What beautiful circular reasoning! It's a good ole' fashioned Catch 22.

Since we've hit a stalemate, I'd like to propose the nuclear option. It's time for superdelegates to woo Mike Gravel, a former Democrat who left for a third party in an effort to reach across the aisles. In this video below, he shows he has the necessary perversion to spark a presidential-caliber political sex scandal:

And just look what he does to the electoral map:

McCain has nowhere to go but down. He'll be forced to play defense in every state. Anytime Gravel senses some an opportunity, he can pounce.

If you happen to be a superdelegate who reads this blog, I urge you to throw in your vote for Gravel.

Awesome With Money

Sam — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:20:21 CDT

Nooze Roundup

Sam — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:18:15 CDT

2log Points Competition: Johnny Topside (aka ME) is better known as Victory Jones.

Words as well-coiffed as his hair?

Thought of the Day: Take a breath, reflect on what we been through. Reflections include...

Go ahead, reward yourself.

But not with a turkey gizzard.

For example, the 90's.

Still no peace in the Middle East.

Stoned Out Of One's Gourd

gerrit — Fri, 09 May 2008 10:51:50 CDT

Apparently, we can say goodbye to all of the "science" which claims smoking pot is harmless or beneficial.

Along comes research which says pot is harmless. Then you read a story about teens creating a homemade bong out of a dead child's severed head. Which is literally the opposite of getting high on life.

via Flickr user Jerry Seinfeld

Scrappy?

gerrit — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:50:08 CDT

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Sam — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:04:32 CDT

Nooze Roundup

Sam — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:02:53 CDT

2log Points Competition: Gerrit = Close Face Killr.

Dept. of Well-Timed Gaffes.

Thought of the Day: ...is always on my mind. Reflections include...

How can we be more bootylicious?

The Potato Salad Myth.

Dealing with the Weakboned Jimmies.

Still no peace in the Middle East.

I Want to Ride My Bi Cy Cle, I Want to Ride My Biiiike

sweeney — Thu, 08 May 2008 10:28:26 CDT

I don't own a bike. I forgot there was a reason for that.

It's because I'm an uncoordinated spastic nerfbag.

I used to have a blue Schwinn lowrider with ape-hanger handlebars. One time I was crossing Vine Street, riding in a pair of 4" platform black velour mules, and when I rode off the curb my heels hit the street and sparks flew as the metal heel plates scraped the pavement. I crashed and burned after fishhooking an unintentional turn when I saw what I thought were flames shooting out of my shoes.

After I healed up, I figured a second chance on the lowrider was worth it, and rode into Chinatown. Instead of navigating the very not real bike lanes around 10th and Cherry, I foolishly scooted up on the sidewalk for a few feet before planning to jump the curb back into the road. I lost a round of chicken against a 93-year old Chinese woman and instead got up close and personal with a mailbox, ripping a decent-sized hole in my head.

A couple years later I borrowed my old housemate, Karen's sweet mountain bike, while she was in Europe, to go to the Reading Terminal. The front tire got caught in a trolley track and I went over the handlebars, effectively mashing the eggs, produce and beef jerky I scored from the Amish, and decimating the welcome home cake I'd gotten for Karen. I had to make an emergency call to my bike-expert friend Tim to come to the house and put K's bike back together, complete with bending the frame's metal tubing back into place and painting in the raw gashes.

Last summer, JW decided to load up his bike and one of the garage spares into the wagon and bring them to the city so we could tool around. He got clipped by a car on Delaware Avenue, and ever since, his bike has been upside-down and tireless in my living room. Since we've only recently gotten out of the 40s around here, the mountain has been keeping the other company, and for lack of space we play Scrabble in the kitchen.

When the temperatures hit the 70s, I figured this was my big chance to flip off public trans and get to work on my own power, without whiplash from overzealous brakers or having to watch every mother of two smack her kids in the face and call them stupid. A win-win, I thought. So I busted out some cargo shorts and rode off into the morning mist, backpack over my shoulders. If you are familiar with my standard wardrobe, you would immediately recognize that me on a bike and me in shorts are the second and third horseman of the apocalypse and that this story won't be ending well.

I rode that sweet Cannondale with the springy forks and treaded pedals to work two days without incident. My ego was practically aflame, as I'd clearly beaten back a bloody history of years of defeat at cyclery's hands.

Yesterday, I was riding home about 6 o'clock, in the bike lane, down a major thoroughfare with no traffic. Just as I was getting up alongside a giant maple tree mid-block, there was a gust of wind. Next thing I know, I'm in a cyclone of swirling maple seedlings -- green and brown autorotating helicopters -- and they're whipping me in the face and eyes. I jackknifed the handlebars and fell in slow motion for ten minutes. When I stopped rolling, I was at the corner, and the woman stopped at the perpendicular traffic light was screaming at the top of her lungs because she thought I was dead. And her son and daughter in the back seat joined in with a chorus of, OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Miraculously, the bike was unharmed. Mostly because I broke its fall, with both knees, my right foot, right ankle, back of right thigh, right shoulder, backpack and skull. Roadrash is roadrash, but the injuries sustained from the bike parts are a suprisingly accurate story of which part got stuck in which flesh at which time. But the crowning glory is definitely the giant green egg above my right temple. I'm the coolest girl in kindergarten.

Doobie-ous Talent

gerrit — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:44:01 CDT

I know very little about the Doobie Brothers, save that their song "Black Water' (featuring the toe-tappin' hook "Gonna play some funky Dixieland, pretty mama gonna take me by the hand") is unbeatably amazing.

But, in my world, it's more fun to kick celebrities while they're down. Hence this line from their Wikipedia entry gave me schadenfreude: "The Doobie Brothers have been eligible for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame since 1996 but have yet to be nominated."

Ha ha! Looks like Jesus doesn't feel the same way about this pathetic agglomeration of no-talent hacks. Oh man, I'm a terrible person.

X-Ray Visionary

gerrit — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:21:01 CDT


The Chandra X-Ray Observatory

NASA is set to announce some exciting discovery next Wednesday, "to announce the discovery of an object in our Galaxy astronomers have been hunting for more than 50 years."

What it could be is anybody's guess. Since the observation came from the Chandra X-ray Observatory, it helps narrow things down. X-ray astronomy is useful for finding dark matter, so it could be a source of dark matter within our own galaxy. But I'm hoping it's definitive proof that Sagittarius A*, the large source of x-rays at the center of our galaxy, is in fact a black hole.

Don't Fret

Sam — Wed, 07 May 2008 14:18:56 CDT

One thing I've noticed in searching for music to include in the Nooze Roundups lately has been the startling number of people who record YouTube videos of themselves sitting in front of a computer playing covers of their favorite songs. I think it's a cool phenomenon; everyone loves cover songs, and occasionally you stumble upon a really nifty cover of one of your favorite tunes. This is especially handy when there is no available video of the actual artist performing the song, as was the case with my recent posting of the Tom Waits song Old Shoes and the Cake song Ruby Sees All.

Since today's artist-of-choice is John Prine, for whom there really is no subsitute, I thought I'd post the link I wish I'd used a few weeks back when I posted his classic Paradise accompanied by a treacly slideshow someone made. If only I had known about this (I'd embed it, but the feature has been disabled by the user). I couldn't find any video of Prine himself doing the song, and here's Fretkillr with his amazing voice and incredible harmonica skills doing a killr version. There's something striking about the dramatic angle he's filmed his guitar from, too. You never see his face, and yet he's constructed an entire musical identity for himself. Who knows who Fretkillr is? All we know is that he loves to play the guitar and sing, and his affection for these songs is sometimes even more exciting to discover than a lackluster performance by the actual artist. Plus, if you're an amateur strummer like myself, you can learn how to play some of your favorite songs (he's got a whole series of classic folk numbers up there). Here's his rendition of Dylan's Don't Think Twice, It's Alright...beautiful stuff.

Nooze Roundup

Sam — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:34:59 CDT

2log Points Competition: Gerrit = Johnny Four Point Lead.

'Til we both turn blue.

Thought of the Day: Whistle and go fishin' in heaven. Reflections include...

There's more than one way to get to heaven.

In heaven, there are no terrible things.

Tripping the lizard fantastic.

Still no peace in the Middle East.