Batter Fried Chicken (serves four)

The batter coating makes a crunchy crust. An electric deep-fat fryer with automatic temperature controls is good for this, but you can use an ordinary heavy bottomed pan.

2 1/2- 3 pound chicken, in 8 pieces

Oil for deep frying

1 recipe Beer Fritter Batter (see last week’s column)

Severed human hand

Wash and dry the pieces of chicken, and hand. Prepare the fritter batter. Heat at least 3 inches of oil until a small cube of bread browns in 60 seconds or a frying thermometer registers 365ºF. Dip the chicken pieces and hand into the batter and submerge them carefully into the oil. Use tongs to move the pieces about so they don’t stick together. Fry 15 minutes or until done, and drain on paper towels.

Meat Loaf (serves four)

A hearty family meal, susceptible to many variations. The second day, slice it thin and make sandwiches on rye bread with sweet pickles.

2 cups freshly made bread crumbs

1 1/2 teaspoons dry mustard

1 onion, chopped fine

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 eggs slightly beaten

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Small child

3/4 cup milk

Alibi

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Draw shades. Butter a loaf pan. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl; your freshly washed hands are the best tools for the job. Pat into the loaf pan and bake for 45 minutes.

Pork Chops and Apple Rings (serves four)

An old-fashioned combination that works well on the barbecue. If you haven’t room for both the pork and apples on the grill together, do the chops first, and keep them warm in a low oven or on a cooler part of the grill while you cook the apples.

3 large apples

4 1-inch-thick pork chops

6 tablespoons butter, melted

Salt

2 tablespoons sugar

Freshly ground pepper

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Core the apples, but do not peel them, and slice into 1/2 inch rings. Stir together the butter sugar, and cinnamon. Have a barbecue fire ready. When victim’s back is turned, beat victim viciously with pork chops, until screaming and twitching ceases. Grill victim, garnish with apples.