It's a cruel business, palindromizing. Many try, yet few succeed. This week we pay tribute to some of the palindromes that "coulda been contenders" under the right conditions.

1. A homo sapien, a scheme, a waterway: Yawretawaemehcsaneipasomoha.

Why the Panama Canal caught on while the competing Yawretawaemehcsaneipasomoha Waterway was cruelly abandoned, I'll never know.

2. HANNAH: Apple ho, help!  PA: Hannah?

For some reason, people have just never accepted this one. How long will it be before Americans are finally ready to discuss fruit prostitution?

3. Tulsa slut

Former Tulsa mayor J. Stubbins McArthur put the kibosh on this one when it first appeared, but that's no reason why the rest of us can't enjoy it, right?

4. Otto deified? Otto?!

Sure, it's not too profound, but what other palindrome so perfectly expresses the confusion felt by many youngsters on learning the Quaker (Society of Friends) tenet that there's a little of God in everybody, even crazy Uncle O?

5. Mail? I've stole lots. Evil, I am.

The only reason I can think of for why this one never made it big is discrimination against regional dialects ("stolen" being the standard past participle of "to steal"). That, or possibly the postal lobby's been working to suppress it....

6. Done by AM? I may be. <nod>

Perhaps the unusual use of a stage direction held this great palindrome back.

7. Ate flab in nacho? Oh! Cannibal Feta!

A bit unsavory, sure, but you can't beat it for expressive power.

8. Poop, Bob, Poop.

Encouragement for a constipated friend or the answer to the question, "What's your favorite form of bodily waste, Steve?"? The ambiguity is beautiful to us connoisseurs, but confuses the palindromic Philistines.