Hey Kids,
Travel through Time
in Just 5 EZ Steps,
Using Uncle Ernie's Trademark Technique!





1. Select a time and place you would like to visit. It can be anywhere, past, present, or future. (Hint: You may want to do some historical research for this step.)

2. Memorize a handful of witty and idiomatic phrases to use when you arrive at your selected destination. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if, after traveling across thousands of miles and/or years, you were caught with nothing interesting to say?!

3. Research the local customs of your selected destination. Not even the wittiest phrases in the world will help you save face if you happen to violate some sacred code of conduct, however unwittingly.

4. Pack lightly but thoroughly for your trip. While watching Leonardo da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa, you don't want to suddenly realize you forgot to bring your toothbrush.

5. Finally, construct a time machine, keeping in mind that it has to be able to withstand the substantial forces of hyperspace. And don't make the same mistake as your Uncle Ernie. He ended up working four years as a slave constructing the pyramids in Egypt, just because he forgot to connect the module for forward time-travel. Oops!

Voila! So what are you waiting for? Get out there and do some time-traveling! Oh, and don't forget to send postcards!

-EZ